Dissent is diversity - not conformity.
Who doesn't feel discomfort when engaging in disagreement, dissent, or discontent?
Dissent is diversity; not conformity. Equity is not built upon status-quo confirmation.
Below are 4 steps for dancing in dissenting defiance.
To dissent and defy status-quo invites discomfort - for the dissenter and the receiver.
“Dis” means differently. “Sent” (sentire) is a form of sense, meaning: feeling, or knowing. To dissent is to feel and know differently.
Defy is comprised of dis- “away” and fidus ”faithful”. To defy, means to part ways with the faithful. Choosing to conform and comply is to seek comfort; to stay in line with the faithful. Sometimes there's a place for this, especially when physical safety is involved.
“Com” means together; “fort” means strong. Thus, comfort is to exist together, or to “give or add strength to”.
The problem is that adding strength to an unethical position; to comply with unfairness means that these conditions endure.
Inequities live on due to a lack of dissent, and respectful dialogue.
Sometimes we need to invite personal and group discomfort by moving differently than the faithful and the norm. Discomfort often dances with distress. This is not a bad thing.
Here are 4 steps to lean into and defuse personal discomfort and distress. Let's chunk it down:
1. Write a list of what is important to you: people, things, values. Why?
2. Next, List the uncomfortable and unwanted feelings, thoughts, memories, concerns, and bodily sensations that you are currently experiencing. Be specific, label your emotions as clearly as possible (e.g. use an Emotions Wheel). The more specific, the less the grip becomes.
3. Begin to separate yourself from your thoughts, feelings, and emotions surrounding an uncomfortable situation. Think of the uncomfortable emotions like passing weather systems, rather than long-term climate.
Then, write your ugly thoughts on a piece of paper (e.g. “I suck at this…” or “I should…”), then burn it; flush it; rip it; shred it; recycle it. This isn’t avoidance, it’s the ability to separate stimulus (situation) from responses.
4. Reflect on; write about: How am I pursuing my deepest and core values? What am I striving to achieve? What are the projects and ways of being that I’m committed to doing today, next week, next month. “I am trying to… [enter striving here]”.
Don’t shy away from potential obstacles. List them. Then also list what you plan to do about them.
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Trying these four steps can assist in defusing discomfort and distress, rather than avoiding them. Join the dance. Avoiding and distancing from distress can be damaging.
Distress is part of being human. Lean in, explore it, defuse it, build resilience and strength for the next time. Defying and dissenting against social expectation and norms is what leads to change and transformation, and is an actual expression of diversity.